The jealous child

The jealous child

Children often get jealous. There are several situations that can lead to this feeling, such as the arrival of a new baby or a new spouse in the family. The jealousy can also occur between siblings or friends of the center.

The child uses different means to express his jealousy. At the birth of a little brother, your child may start to act baby. For example, peeing in her panties, wanting to wear diapers, talking like a baby, etc. Making anger, breaking a friend’s toys, hurting your little sister or refusing to obey are other ways to show your jealousy.

Causes of jealousy

Although it can give rise to disturbing behavior, jealousy is a perfectly normal feeling. The child thinks that the world revolves around him. He is focused on his needs. It is difficult for him to understand the needs of others and to share the attention of his parents. Jealousy occurs when a child feels that their mother or father is giving more love and care to someone else, such as a baby or a new spouse. Biting his little sister or doing silly things is a way of saying to you: “You are taking care of the baby too much! I, too, want you to take care of me and love me. ”

A lack of confidence can also cause jealousy. The child can compare himself to others and find himself less good than them. Thus, comparing one’s children to another or giving more importance to one of them can create sibling rivalry and increase jealousy. It is better to avoid phrases like “Take your brother’s example” or “Do like your sister.” Each child is unique and has his strengths and limitations.

A jealous child needs to be reassured and to know that you love him.

How to react?

The best way to prevent and reduce your child’s jealousy is to show him your love.

Feel free to be affectionate and tell him often that you love him.

Give him some attention and take the time to do activities with him. Your toddler will feel less threatened by others and will tend to be less jealous.

Congratulate your child and often make positive comments to help them gain confidence. He will be less inclined to compare himself to others and to be jealous.

Prepare your toddler for the birth of a baby or the arrival of a new partner reassuring on your love. For example, you can say, “You’re going to have a little sister, but that does not change the love I have for you. Even though I will have to take care of the baby a lot, I will also find some time to be with you. Or “Even if I have a new lover, I love you as before. You are still my darling child.”

Help your child put words on what he feels and tell him you understand him. For example, if he rolls on the ground crying while you change the baby’s diaper, you can tell him, “I know you want me to take care of you. I understand that you need me, but your brother too. Shouting is not the way to get my attention, but it will make me happy to play with you when I’m done changing your little brother. ”

Do not punish your child for his attacks of jealousy, it would only worsen the situation.

Jealous of dad or mom

Between 3 years and 6 years, the child can live more or less intense a passion vis-à-vis the parent of the opposite sex. This preference leads him to see the other parent as a rival and to be jealous of him. It is the complex of Oedipus, a normal and temporary stage of its development.

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