Spanking and other physical punishment, such as shaking, slapping, banging or pinching, have negative effects on a child’s psychological and social development.
To develop well, the child needs a sense of physical and psychological security. And it is first with his parents that he finds this feeling of security. Thus, when physically punished, the child feels insecure.
Consequences of corporal punishment
Some tense parents come to beat their child in the hope of regaining control of the situation. However, shaking, hitting or pinching a child are not effective forms of discipline. No study has shown that there are any positive effects of corporal punishment.
When the child receives a corporal punishment, he:
- Judge himself as a bad person, not up to the expectations of his parents, and comes to have a low self- esteem;
- Comes to believe that problems can be solved by physical violence ;
- Obeys in the short term – but in the long run, corporal punishments lead to negative reactions: fear, aggression, desire for revenge or revolt and willingness to occupy a position of power in turn;
- Accumulates in him fear and rage, which may come out later. Thus, a regularly struck toddler is more likely to be violent with other children or with his parents;
- Maybe defensive and mistrustful of adults around them;
- Is more likely to become a violent adult.
How to educate without hitting?
You are the first model of your child. The influence you exert on him depends above all on the quality of your relationship with him. A relationship based on mutual respect and love pushes the child to self-responsibility and positive self-esteem.
To express your disappointment, discontent or anger, clearly, express your disagreement with your child. Do not wait to be exhausted before expressing your disapproval.
Apply the 3 Rs rule: ” Recule, Respire and Respond”, isolating yourself for a few moments to take a step back or send your child to his room for a short while the tension drops.
Work as a team with the other parent or educator of your child. The sharing of experiences and observations helps to better understand your toddler’s needs and to agree on the limits to be given and the qualities to be valued.
Ask for outside help if you are often angry with your child. Getting support is essential to maintaining a positive relationship with your child.
To help you deal with discipline issues:
- Discipline: withdrawal
- Intervene when your child does not follow the rules
- Intervene: quibble with your child
- Discipline: when and how to define rules and limits
- The child who refuses to obey
- Corporal punishment has no positive effect on the child and affects self-esteem.
- It is important to take a step back when you feel that your anger is great and that you could get carried away.
- With support, you can develop positive strategies for exercising caring discipline with your child.