The education you give your child is one way to help him learn about your values and teach him how to get along with others. You also teach him to stay safe, manage his emotions and gain the self-control necessary to accomplish all this in your absence. To educate a child means to teach him things by making him aware of the consequences of his actions rather than by systematically punishing him.
How to create rules
It is normal that your child does not always act as you wish. For him, fun is paramount and it takes time and helps to understand the behaviors that are acceptable. To educate means to define limits by creating sensible and essential rules.
Determine the gestures that are never tolerated (such as shouting, pushing, or typing) and give correct consequences for these actions. For behaviors that have less negative consequences, a simple warning or explanation may be sufficient. However, be careful not to reprimand or punish your child continuously.
It is important for your child to understand that you are setting the rules because you are the adult responsible for them. He must know that you are setting limits for his well-being and for his safety. For example, if you refuse to have your child climb onto furniture, explain why with simple words. You can tell him it’s to prevent him from getting hurt. Then direct him to a safer activity like doing pirouettes on a blanket on the floor.
These rules should, however, allow your child to experience things on their own and to experience successes and challenges. In order for your child to become aware that each gesture can bring a positive or negative consequence, you must accompany and guide him/her. We must not only make him live the consequence of his inappropriate actions, but also highlight his successes and his good moves.
You may feel frustrated about having to repeat the same thing to your child, but it is important that you give him a good example by controlling your anger. The example you give him will crucially influence how he learns to manage his own behavior. So, when your child has tantrums, you can help him name his feelings.
How to avoid quibbling your child continually
When you repeat to your child countless times to do something, he can learn to tune out with disconcerting ease. Here are several ways to avoid quarreling all the time:
- When you are calm all 2, tell him about your expectations and the rules he must follow. Also, establish a schedule of the tasks to be performed.
- When he does not do what you want, do not bother him. Go to him and catch his attention. Ask him about the feelings he feels about the job he has to do and why he hesitates to do it. After discussing the reasons he invokes, tell him clearly and calmly what to do.
- If he often refuses to do what you ask him to do or if he never does what you expect from him, talk to other parents to see if your expectations are reasonable. Exchanging with other parents can help you develop strategies you may not have thought of. Your child’s daycare worker can also be a good ally to help you do that.
Do not bother your child to the point of screaming and threatening what will happen to him if he does not obey you. Above all, do not make threats in the air that you will not carry out, telling him, for example: “If you do not pick up your truck, I’ll throw it! This type of warning is usually ineffective. If you happen to lose your temper your child will usually only think of your anger. Be calm and consistent. Say what you think and think what you say. When the atmosphere becomes calmer, discuss with your child to check his understanding of things and reaffirm your expectations of his behavior. Communicating with your child will help them better understand the meaning of their actions and what you expect from them.