Why does not he listen the first time?
Before 3 years, it is difficult for a child to respect a forbidden. His brain is in training and he has trouble controlling his gestures, emotions, and thoughts. Even if your child knows he does not have to do something, he has a hard time holding back. He needs your help to learn to control himself.
All children, especially when they are small, disobey the rules: it’s normal.
The child is also focused on his needs. For him, it’s fun that counts. For example, your toddler may have trouble understanding that you are in a hurry and want him to get dressed quickly because the important thing for him is to play with his blocks.
In addition, around 2 years old, your child discovers that he is a person in his own right. He needs to assert himself and decide certain things. When he refuses to do what you ask him, it is sometimes because it prevents him from doing what he has decided.
Read more: How to be listened to from 3 to 5 years
Your child needs rules and limits to feel safe. The rules must be clear and adapted to his age. Before thinking that he is not listening to you, ask your toddler first what he understood of your instructions. If necessary, explain it again, emphasizing what is important to you.
Remember that the fewer rules there are, the more effective they are, and it is normal to have to repeat often. Also, your child will be easier to follow the rules if both parents apply the instructions in the same way.
Tracks to make you listen
As a parent, you are in the best position to set the rules with your child and enforce them. No need to negotiate or justify yourself.
- As soon as your child begins to crawl, he can learn that there are things he can not do. When your baby goes to a dangerous place, tell him that he can not go and direct him to a safer activity.
- If you do not want to spend your time saying “no,” create a safe play area for your toddler and keep fragile items away.
- To get your child’s attention, stand up to him and look him in the eye to talk to him. It is sometimes necessary to touch his shoulder or hand to get his full attention. You can then clearly express your request and say, for example: “Amelie, look at me. Your bath is ready and I would like you to come with me. “
- Offer him choices. If your child does not want to get dressed, ask him if he wants to wear his red sweater or white shirt.
- Praise your toddler when he behaves well to encourage him to continue.
the corporal punishment (type, slapping, pinching, shaking, etc.) are not forms of discipline effective. It’s humiliating, it hurts, in addition to giving the child the feeling that he has no value. A regularly injured child is more likely to be violent with other children and later with adults.